Spirit Warrior Poker
by MissyMoeDoe
Summary: The problem with Spirit Warrior Poker is the sticks.
1. Chapter 1

**Twilight and its characters are and always have been S. Meyers. I do not own nor do I claim any of her work.**

R&R constructively please

The legends say that becoming a spirit warrior is a _'great honor'._ The reality of it is that it depends on the person who has this life 'gifted' to them. The truth of our situation is that this _'great honor'_ has been forced on a bunch of overgrown, hormonal teenagers, that are having to grow up in a matter of months if not weeks. I'm the oldest at 20. The youngest, so far, is Seth. He just turned 15.

As of right now, there are eight of us.

To say that it's a big adjustment going from your average teen, who's biggest worries are how to beat the latest video game and how to get into a girls pants, to growing a foot and a half or more and putting on 35 to 40lbs of pure muscle in a month with the added painful bonus of turning into a giant wolf would be the understatement of the century.

Then there's Leah, the packs only female. She's only just a _little_ bitter about it all. When she's sleeping that is. The rest of the time, well, that's a whole nasty can of worms that I can't even begin to explain.

Still, each one of us has dealt with and still deals with this _'great honor'_ differently.

My Beta, Jacob, hates it. Goes against everything ingrained in him. He viewed it as taking away every free will choice he ever had. To be honest, except for the small things, it does. It ties you to the res for the rest of your life, gives you the job of protecting it and all human life that surrounds it. Hell, it even picks your mate for you. That, in itself, was a huge problem for him.

Until recently, he'd been trying to get his best friend, who just happened to be the girl he was "in love with", to go out with him.

There were three problems with that. One, she loved him but not like that. Two, she used to date a cold one. Three, he imprinted. That last one pissed him right the fuck off when it happened. He doesn't seem to gripe about the imprint too much anymore.

Gee, wonder why.

It doesn't help that he's 17 and just found out that eventually he's supposed to take over the pack, along with becoming the tribal Chief and has now been handed by the great spirits or whoever controls this shit, his mate for life. It would be scary for anyone to look at our situation and know that they were going to play any part in it.

There were more than a few of us that had dreams outside of the res. Going to college, getting a good job and moving away from here. Those were squashed the day the lupine gene in our blood became active.

Jacobs's eventually going to have to emotionally and mentally grow up and get over this Bella shit or the entire pack is going to suffer for it. He is changing. It just seems to be slow going for him.

It hurts to let the inside of you catch up with the physical side that's already made you look 10yrs older. Sucks to say, but the sooner the better.

Quil took it in stride. Like it was just something that he was supposed to do. Kinda like going through puberty, I guess. At times it still knocks him on his ass but he just rolls with it. That's not to say that he doesn't feel the strain of it. We all do. He just seems to deal with it better than the rest of us. The difference is that he doesn't question or fight it. From the pain to the forced lifelong commitment to the res and the killing. He usually does it with a joke (generally at the most inappropriate times and almost always dirty) and a smile. It either makes us laugh or puts us on edge. More often than not, it puts one or more of us on edge.

Which he thinks is funny as hell anyway.

Quil even dealt with the fever, pain of growth and transformation into his wolf better than any of the rest of us.

That first phase is enough to keep the wolf on its belly panting in pain for hours. Even by the time that it's up on its paws, the pain sometimes drowns out anything that's being told to it.

With Quil though, he laid there in pain excited about the fact that he could hear us in his head and had paws and a tail. Then he started wondering if his tendency toward certain foods had anything to do with being a wolf. After that thought, he proceeded to show us in his mind just exactly what he's done with one of the girls on the res.

I'll never be able to eat peanut butter again.

Then there's Paul. It's like he was born for the wolf. I think if he could stay phased, he would. Problem with that is that he would lose any humanity he has. And Paul doesn't have much of that to spare anyways.

At first, he was so pissed about being given this_ 'great honor'_ that he lashed out at everyone. Between him getting into fights as a human and with us when he was phased and fucking everything that moved, he had me and the council going from one problem to the next trying to keep the packs secret and him out of jail.

After about 3 weeks of that, I had had enough. I knew that using an Alpha order on him would work but not gain his respect and obedience as a man or wolf. So, one sunny day when he was being particularly nasty, I turned without warning and hit him. It took him about half a second to get to his feet and throw his first punch. He fought me full out. It started with us being human and ended with us both phased and my wolf pinning his to the ground by the throat until he submitted. It sucked because he's been one of my closest friends since we were little kids. The next day though, he showed up at my door cracking jokes and talking about his latest piece like nothing had happened. After that, he stopped lashing out at everything and everyone and took orders as they were given. He still fucked anything that moved. But hey, you can't expect him to change overnight completely. At least now he's more discrete about it.

Most of the time anyways.

It's his anger and the ability to think quick that makes him strategically and viciously, the most dangerous fighter in the pack. We have his home life growing up and all the husbands and fathers that caught him screwing their wives and daughters for that.

It took him about a week after phasing to realize that he and his wolf had a whole lot in common. They both liked to run on their baser instincts. To feed, fight and to fuck. The pack, however, needed him to keep that part of him that he doesn't share with the wolf. His humanity.

The pack because we were stronger with him and Jared and me because we didn't want to lose our friend like we have already lost so much to this_ 'great honor'_.

Currently, I'm sitting and watching the three of them from my back deck as they made their way through the trees. They were phased and Paul was snapping at Quils heels as they ran just inside of the tree line. As per usual, Jake seemed to be staring off into space. Probably trying to figure out a way to get Bella and keep the imprint. 'That's not going to happen.' He wouldn't be screwing his imprint all the time if he was still really serious about Bella. He just can't seem to let go yet.

Focusing back on Quil and Paul I realized why he was snapping at him. Quil was still carrying around that damn deck of cards in his mouth. No doubt trying to get him to play poker while phased. Again.

Shaking my head, I thought about the weekend prior. He'd somehow convinced Jared, Paul and Embry to play while phased. The 4 half-full 5-gallon buckets of Old Quil's moonshine around them had gone a long way into getting them to agree to it.

Jake had been at my house when he got the call to come get Billy and to take him over to Old Quils for some homemade medicine.

'Riigghhtt, medicine.'

I had decided to walk over with him to let Quil know to relieve Seth when he came off patrol. It was after we got there that Old Quil found out that not only was Quil gone but a large part of his shine was missing from his shed.

I phased to find out where they were and could only come up with some vaguely fuzzy images of a red house and what I thought looked like sticks. The only house on the res that was red was Billy's.

So, it was no surprise when Jake, Billy, Old Quil and I got to Billy's back yard that we came upon four drunken 'spirit warriors'.

What was surprising was that they were four _fully phased_ drunk 'spirit warriors' and they were playing poker.

Complete with cards and sticks as money.

I thought Billy and Old Quil were going to piss themselves laughing. Jake and I were trying to figure out how to get the situation under control before someone saw their dumb asses.

We'd never actually had this situation happen before.

We knew a lot of alcohol could keep them from phasing into the wolf, which meant that it could probably also keep them from phasing back to humans. This also meant that they were at least partially sober when they phased and had kept drinking as wolves. Hence the reason for the buckets of shine instead of jars to drink out of.

Jared, Quil, and Embry didn't concern me.

It was Paul I was worried about. We all knew that he, the man, could be volatile sober or drunk, but his wolf was deadly sober and we didn't know what his wolf was going to be like drunk.

It was when he started leaning sideways and chuffing that Jake and I looked at each other and decided to go ahead and phase.

That had been a bad idea.

It was like 4 sets of beer goggles being set over your eyes. We'd phased back immediately only to see Paul on his back, belly showing, legs in the air, still chuffing.

Billy was laughing and wiping tears off his face. Old Quil had sat down in a lawn chair still chuckling and said, "Lahote's wolf sure does think somethings funny."

I was still watching Paul when I heard Jacob start laughing. I looked over and raised an eyebrow at him. He nodded toward the other three and said, "I think Quil is going all in." I glanced just to make sure Paul was still in the same spot before looking over just in time to see Quil nose the rest of his sticks into the pile in front of him. Embry had laid down at some point and had his head on his paws, watching, while Jared seemed to be trying to decide whether or not to take the bet.

I could not believe the ridiculous scene going on before me.

It was when Paul, who was still laying on his back with his feet in the air, tongue now hanging out of the side of his mouth had started snoring seriously loud enough to be a freight train that I came out of my stupor.

That's when I knew we had to do something quick before we had 4 passed out wolves the size of horses in Billy's back yard.

So, I did the only thing that came to mind hoping it would work.

I walked over, got the three that were still semi-coherent (enough to play poker anyways) to pay attention.

I almost lost it when three giant wolf heads tipped to the side in confusion. You know, cute puppy style. Jake didn't help by falling on his ass in laughter. I made myself stop chuckling, cleared my throat, used the base and tenor in my voice and issued the order. "PHASE". Fifteen seconds later, three nude, overgrown, drunken teenage boys were laying in Billy's back yard.

I asked Billy and Old Quil to stay out there and watch them while Jake and I phased and moved Paul.

We each grabbed onto a back leg with our mouths and pulled Paul into the woods.

Well mostly.

It was when Paul yelped and yanked his back paws out of our mouths and quickly rolled to his stomach and was belly crawling away that we saw what cause him to come around.

As we were pulling him into the woods we had to jerk him forward a couple of times to get him over some of the twigs, sticks, and rocks. I guess with the last jerk we didn't get Paul over the last stick. In fact, we managed to accidentally impale it into his backside. Right into what would be his right ass check once he was back to being human. Thankfully it didn't get jabbed in any further to the left.

Jake and I phased back to being human. I figured that he was semi-conscious that I might be able to force him to phase back.

But before I could get over to him and issue the order Paul's wolf had passed out again. We decided it would be way too dangerous to move him again. There was no way we were going to try with the possibility of having the same thing happen while he was on his belly. The only option my beta and I had was to take turns standing watch over him till he woke up long enough to phase back.

"You're up first baby Alpha." I said half laughing while walking back towards the elders.

"Fuck off Sam."

He hated that. I thought it was great. At least for me it was. When I found out he'd eventually take over the pack I think I actually shed a few tears as I did a happy dance. Well maybe not the tears but I definitely did the dance. I was so fucking relieved that I wasn't always going to have to be in charge.

"Hey, Sam!"

I stopped and turned to look back at him. "Yeah?"

"When are you coming back?"

I remember sighing and wishing I could tell him in 6 hours so that I could go home and get some sleep. But as the damn Alpha I had duties. "Once I get our idiotic pack mates into your house and go home to get something to eat. A couple hours maybe."

After a quick nod, he stepped back into the bushes and I headed toward the three idiot spirit warriors now passed out in Billy's back yard.


	2. Who won?

**Who won?**

I remembered as I was walking into Billy's back yard that I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that I had forgotten something. I decided to put it on the back burner until I was done getting the three dipshits into Billy's house and out of sight.

Somehow Billy and Old Quil had managed to get them alert enough to put some shorts on. At least we wouldn't have to look at their junk as they dragged their asses into Billy's house.

"Sam?" Old Quil had sounded a little worried.

It was then that I remembered what I should have been worried about before then.

I had been trying to decide whether to use an Alpha order to get the guys to help each other into Billy's house. It sounded like it might work and give me some entertainment in the meantime. With all the shit my pack brothers get themselves into, they also provide me with hours of reflective entertainment.

"Shit," My head shot up looking at the two elders in front of me. "Seth."

Billy had leaned forward in his chair. "You better phase boy. Harry will be wanting his son home eventually."

My phase was immediate.

Snores.

That's all there were.

It ended my hopes of him being 'unphased', in the human sense of the word, by his drunken packmates night of moonshine and poker.

But at least there were two sets of snores. So, I at least knew one of them was Seth. (It didn't occur to me at the time that it might have been any of the others. And to be honest I'm glad that it didn't.)

The only option I had at that point to wake him was jarring him awake.

'SETH!' I yelled at the sleeping wolf.

Nothing. That got nothing.

'SETH DAMNIT! WAKE YOUR FUCKING ASS UP!'

Using an Alpha order while the guys were awake and phased into wolves worked. But we also knew from past experiences that they wouldn't work while they were asleep as a wolf.

A snort was the response I got from one wolf, the other still sounded like a freight train being driven through my head.

After a good five minutes of threats of everything from extra patrols to making him clean out Jake's room and I was at the end of my ideas.

Then it hit me.

'SETH GET YOUR ASS UP NOW OR I'M SENDING LEAH TO GET YOU UP!' It was the only thing that I thought might work. It was more like I hoped that it would. Seth hated (more like feared) being woke up by his sister.

'I'M UP…I'm.. up…' came his half frantic half woozy reply. When his eyes opened, I could see that he had made it up by the main road leading to Forks. He'd gotten about 2/3 of the way through his patrol.

'Sam? What the hell is that sound?' I could feel his wolf flinch. Or maybe that was mine flinching along with his. It was hard to tell. Paul was trying to kill us both with his snoring.

'Get up kid and get down here to Billy's.'

'ok…Sam?' I could feel his confusion.

'Just get here.' I told him. 'I'll explain what's going on then.'

'Can I phase and run? My head hurts and the snoring is really loud.'

I knew it would take him longer, but I couldn't fault the kid. 'Yeah, just hurry up.'

I felt him pause then heard 'oh yeah…who won?' just as I was fixing to phase back human.

I just shook my head and thought 'Get your ass down here.'

When I phased back Old Quil had pushed Billy into the house and it was just me and the three idiots in the back yard. I had decided that I needed to go ahead and get them inside more than I needed the entertainment of watching them help each other. So, I reached down and grabbed Embry by the arm and hauled him over my shoulder.

"Hey Sam," he said cheerfully, while also trying to wave at me.

"Shut up Em," I grunted under his weight at first then started walking to the back door. "Your asses owe Jake and me for this."

He didn't say anything else. I figured either he passed back out or he was taking me telling him to shut up to heart. At that point, it didn't matter.

It didn't take long for me to get them all into Jake's room. Throwing them on the bed on top of each other. Which didn't matter either. We were a bunch of wolves. It came with the territory for us to be close to each other while we slept. It's true that I might have laid them on top of each other in a way that none of us would ever do willingly, but I figured why not. Especially after Jared puked down my back.

I turned to leave Jake's room only to see Billy sitting there laughing at my placement of the bodies. "Here," he said as he threw me a towel and some shorts. "Go take a shower. I've got to get to bed. Charlie's will be over in the morning for game day."

It was a long-standing tradition that the two best friends to get together on game days. Which started at breakfast and ended whenever it ended. Usually with both of them plus Harry Clearwater and Old Quil drunk and telling old stories. It made me wonder if they ever saw the end of any of those games because it was common knowledge that they started drinking at 11 am sharp. Supposedly they had to so that their team would win. I don't know how they figured that into it but hey to each his own right?

I nodded and headed off to the bathroom. That's when I realized that Jake and I were either going to have to move Paul again or try to get him awake enough to move himself before Charlie got there. I couldn't help it, I looked up and said to the 'great spirits' "You guys done having fun yet?"

I really should have known better than to get shitty with the 'Great Spirits'.


	3. Cigarette Investigations

**Quick note. This chapter and the next are happening almost all at once. They're from different people's points of view.**

**Cigarette Investigations**

~Charlie Swans Pov~

Looking out the window over the sink into his best friends back yard Charlie Swan choked a little on his coffee when he saw the naked upper body of a teenager that seemed to be asleep right inside the tree line.

"Billy?"

"Yeah?"

"You know that Lahote kid is asleep out in the trees behind your house?"

He heard a chuckle from the living room.

"Yeah."

"So… you know?"

"Yeah. I know he's there."

Charlie could have sworn he heard him say "gonna be pissed off when his furry ass wakes up too." under his breath.

Choosing to ignore whatever his friend was mumbling about, he narrowed his eyes to try and take in the whole scene.

One brief glance around the back yard didn't tell him much but it gave him an idea of what could possibly have happened.

A few buckets with what looked like rainwater were sitting by what look to be 4 patches of lawn that were worn down till the dirt was showing through around a pile of sticks in the center.

"Billy you know that bonfires are only allowed out at the beach, right?"

A coughing fit that turned into full-blown laughter from the living room followed that question. Charlie wasn't too worried about his friend's continued laughed because they'd been watching that damn South Park. He didn't think much of the show, but Billy thought it was hilarious. He figured he'd just let his friend continue to watch the show as he tried to add up what he wasn't seeing.

It was still 3 hours till kick-off and besides Charlie had a gut feeling that something just wasn't adding up. He needed to squash that feeling or it might affect the whole game or keep him from paying attention to it.

He didn't think his best friend would let any of the res kids have a bonfire this close to his house but being the Forks Police Chief, he figured maybe he'd check to make sure Billy didn't forget or something. Maybe he'd had a bit too much of Old Quil's "medicine" last night or something. Otherwise, he couldn't see how Billy could forget since he was the Tribal Chief. Still, a fire that close would easily burn both house and garage down and Billy wasn't as mobile as he used to be.

"You didn't have any of Old Quil's shine last night, did you?"

Billy had just started to calm down and then it sounded like he began to have a bit of trouble breathing.

"You ok in there?" Charlie asked as he kept his steady gaze on the back yard. He just knew he was missing something.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine." His friend said between coughs. When he seemed to calm down again he added. "I took a shot right before bed, but I was pretty busy with tribal things last night." Billy wheezed, "Trust me, Charlie, there was absolutely no danger…. of there being any bonfire here…. Especially last night." He finally got out between breaths.

He knew that his old friend wouldn't lie to him, but Charlie's mustache still twitched. A sure sign that something wasn't exactly right. That's when he decided that he'd just get some fresh air and maybe check things out.

"Billy, I'm gonna step out on the porch to smoke a cigarette," he told him while swinging opening the backscreen door.

"Sure, sure. You know you oughta quit that."

"Yeah yeah yeah." Truth be known, he hadn't had a cigarette because he truly wanted it in over a year.

Mostly.

But he did find them handy in situations when he needed a little time alone, like right then.

Lighting one up, just for effect, he took a drag off it and stepped down off the porch in the direction of Billy's garage. He knew that he was going in the opposite direction of where he really needed to, but you never could tell who would show up and he didn't want to be seen checking anything to specific out. Seeing as how there was nothing in their back yard for cover, that meant he had to stay close to the back of the house and then the garage to get to the tree line.

When he finally skirted down and around the buildings and started around the tree line closer to where he saw Paul laying, Charlie flicked the cigarette to the side and looked around as if he were studying the trees or weather. He'd been inching a bit closer when he heard the familiar voice of his daughters' best friend saying, "I am NOT removing that from him."

'What the hell' he thought. Not giving a thought at how he looked at that point. Quickly he took a step closer to the bushes and crouched down, slowly edging a little forward. He couldn't make out who the voice that answered Jake belonged to but whoever it was said, "Jake. He's passed out.." the rest of the statement was said to quiet for him to hear.

Charlie's eyebrows furrowed at that. He was about to inch a bit closer when he heard Jacob loud and clear when the boy said, "I don't ask you to remove anything from Quil or Embry's asses."

That statement made him freeze.

This time the reply was so low that he couldn't hear any of it. So, he slowly crept further along.

Then those same eyebrows of his shot up trying to reach his hairline when he heard Sam Uley, say, "It's already been in there overnight Jake. You know the longer it stays the tighter it's going to get around it and it's going to be harder to get out."

Charlie gently pulled a couple leaves away from the bush in front of him to give him a visual and quickly put them back.

'Ok didn't need to see that.' He shook head to try and get the mental image of his best friends' son and Sam's junk out of his mind. 'Wait…why the hell are they naked?'

It didn't fit with his previous notion of the boys and their activities. He'd gotten some disturbing reports about these kids and what they might have been up to, But now he was questioning whether they may have been false.

'Ok so maybe they're not a gang.' Charlie took a few minutes and rolled it over in his mind trying to put together everything that he'd heard over the last few months about these kids and especially the change in the kid that was like family to him.

'They walk around half-naked. They're always with each other. None of them ever go anywhere by themselves. There's never any females with them. Huh…maybe…' Still crouched down he turned back to the conversation behind the bushes and strained his ears to continued to try to pick up what was being said, without the visual.

"Well, I think you're going to have to push it in a little further, move it around to open it up wider to pull it out. Quickly. Very Quickly"

That last statement seemed to confirm what he was thinking, 'Yep.' Charlie nodded to himself, 'No wonder Bells and Jake haven't gotten together.' He knew that he would need to tell his daughter so that she didn't get her hopes up. She seemed to be doing so much better with Jake at her side. But he wouldn't let her be lead on either. He put those thoughts away for later.

Back to dealing with the situation at hand it still didn't sit right with him that they were going to do things to a boy that was clearly passed out. Just as he was about to confront them, he heard Jacob say. "He's going to be pissed, you know that right?"

'Good' Charlie thought, 'maybe they'll just leave him be.' Then he heard Sam say, "Look, he'll be mad at first because he's going to wake up when you pull it out and it's going to hurt. But once he calms down, he'll be glad that we helped him pull it out. It's not exactly in a spot that he'd be able to do it himself easily without causing himself a lot more pain. After we'll take him to my place to let him heal completely."

"I am kicking the shit out of Quil for getting them drunk. He's the whole reason that it got stuck in his ass in the first place."

Charlie, who was more than a little relieved to find out that they were actually going to be helping instead of molesting that poor kid, began backing away from what he viewed as a very intimate and personal scene.

It took him about 5 minutes to slowly make his way back up to the garage, all the while smoking another cigarette.

That he only used for cover.

Just as he was about to pass the garage heading toward the steps of the back porch, he heard, "SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN BITCH. SOMEONE IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" as a very awake, very naked Paul Lahote literally tore ass out of the woods and jumped into the air.

Now Charlie considered himself a reasonably smart, rational man, but what happened next defied rationality. Right before his eyes, Paul Lahote, _reformed res troublemaker,_ burst into a bear-sized silver wolf.

Charlie's whole body went on autopilot.

So, while his mouth shouted, "WHAT THE HELL", his hand pulled his gun and begun firing at the wolf.

Said wolf then whipped around at the sound of the first shot, with his teeth bared, then its eyes went wide and he took off in a run toward the woods as the next 5 came flying its way.

Charlie knew that at least 3 hit him from the yelps and growls he heard as the wolf crossed back over into the woods.

He stood there for a bit shaking, trying and failing to come up with any sort of plausible explanation of what just happened. Then he heard the screen door squeak a bit and looked over at his best friend who seemed to be both laughing and crying at the same time.

His eyes narrowed at the man in the wheelchair, "Billy!"

When the Tribal Chief looked over at him, he watched as the man was wiping away tears of laughter. Glaring at his best friend, he said through gritted teeth, "I think we need to have a talk."

Still laughing, Billy nodded as he backed his chair into the house, "Sure, sure. Come on. I gotta call Old Quil to come over anyway. He'll think this is funny as hell."~


	4. Pauls other Hole

**As stated in the quick note in the chapter before this, this chapter is happening at the same time as the last. It's from two different people's points of view. R&R **

**Paul's other Hole**

~Jakes Pov~

His Alpha looked over at him with his hands on his hips and a raised eyebrow.

"Look I don't care if you are Alpha Sam. I am NOT removing that from him."

Jacob stated as he crossed his arms over his chest. He knew he could make him. Jake just really, reallllly hoped that he wouldn't.

He watched Sam sigh and shake his head.

"Jake. He's passed out and it's just a stick."

"Yeah and he's your best friend." he shot back then he added, "I don't ask you to remove anything from Quil or Embry's asses." By then his voice had elevated to a panicked half yell.

Sam's eyes snap up to him. "Keep your voice down" he hissed, " and It was YOUR best friend that got him drunk and in this situation in the first place!"

Jake turned and walked in a little circle, trying to think of anything that might get him out of doing it.

"Then…then wait till one of them wakes up and have them do it." he sputtered in a quiet plea.

"It's already been in there overnight Jake. You know the longer it stays the tighter it's going to get around it and it's going to be harder to get out."

Jacob huff out a breath and looked up at the sky through the trees and about half-whispered and fully whined "Why?.. Do.. you.. guys.. HATE.. me?"

Sams' rumbling laugh made him turn around and glare at his Alpha. "FINE... Fine… let's just get this over with."

It was an extremely uncomfortable situation that he didn't want anyone to know he'd had any part in. Looking around at the thick brush in front of him, hopefully hiding them from his back yard he asked Sam, "Do you think anyone can see in here?"

Especially not Charlie. That particular man was at the moment sitting in his living room getting ready to watch the football game like he always did every Sunday since before Jake could remember. If he found out and told Bella, Jake wouldn't ever be able to show his face again.

He watched Sam tip his head to the side to peek around the bush towards his back porch. "Nah. I mean. They'd probably be able to see Paul's upper body from your porch, but even then, it would just be from his chest up."

They both looked down to study the body in on the ground. "Ok, so how do we do this?" Jacob glanced over at Sam.

"Well, I think you're going to have to push it in a little further, move it around to open it up wider to pull it out. Quickly" after a moment's pause, he added, "Very quickly."

Jake narrowed his eyes at his Alpha, "He's going to be pissed. You know that right?"

Sam nodded but said, "Look, he'll be mad at first because he's going to wake up when you pull it out and it's going to hurt. But once he calms down, he'll be glad that we helped him pull it out. It's not exactly in a spot that he'd be able to do it himself easily without causing himself a lot more pain. After we'll take him to my place to let him heal completely."

Not that he didn't believe his Alpha, Jake just wasn't so sure about Paul being all that grateful.

"I am kicking the shit out of Quil for getting them drunk. He's the whole reason that it got stuck in his ass in the first place."

Almost as an after-thought, Jake muttered, "We might not want to let him and Quil alone around each other for a long time."

His Alpha nodded while still looking down. "Yep. Ok, here's how this is going to go. You're going to grab the stick push it in swirl it around and pull it out. Remember, Very fucking Quickly."

Jake's stomach started turning at just the thought of pushing that stick further into Paul's ass cheek. He hated that he was fixing to have to hurt one of his pack brothers and that it would probably take both him and his alpha to calm the already volatile wolf down. But they'd all been there to help one another in the past. Even if it was over stupid shit.

Taking a moment to consider what was about to happen, Jacob decided that he really didn't want to be naked if it garnered any kind of outside attention.

"Dude, I think we should put on pants for this though. Just in case."

"Yeah, I'm sure Paul would appreciate that too." Sam agreed as he walked over to one of the tree stumps and grabbed two pairs of shorts, throwing a pair to Jacob.

Having done that, they stood there for a minute before Sam said, "We better get this over with." His Alpha looked stoic as ever but Jake could hear the humor in the tone of his voice.

"Just so you know," Jake told him, "the next time you're dealing with whatever these idiots get up to."

At that, Sam did laugh, "Yeah, yeah, Beta but for right now you're the one that's going to be pulling the stick out of Paul's ass." then added, "literally for once."

Jake grumbled under his breath as he walked over then looked back at Sam.

"Quick, right?"

Sam nodded at him.

Jacobs turned his head to the side, like somehow not facing the stick in Paul's ass head-on was going to make it better. Then lightning fast, he grabbed the stick rotated it.

But before he could pull it free, Paul came up off the ground cursing and jerking forward. Essentially pulling himself off the stick as Jake held it still.

It took them about a half a second to register everything that had just happened. Then they both looked at each other and then quickly followed to where Paul had leapt out of the trees screaming at the top of his lungs "SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN BITCH. SOMEONE IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" right before he phased in mid-air in the middle of Jacob's back yard.

At the same time, they heard the panicked shout, "WHAT THE HELL", of Charlie Swan. Along with gunshots being fired.

The next thing they knew, Paul had yelped a couple of times while hauling ass back towards them as more bullets flew by their packmate.

At that point, Sam and Jake felt that it was probably time that they phase. The silver wolf tore by them in the direction of the beach like his tail was set on fire. They couldn't believe how fast Paul was moving as they tried to catch up.

Jake was behind Sam as they continued into toward the beach. 'Damn Paul slow down, you're running like your tails on fire.'

Sam laughed at the image of Paul having that stick that used to be in his ass cheek on fire as a tail, as the image drifted through Jake's mind.

Paul's angry tone reverberated through their heads, 'Black I'm gonna kick your fucking ass as soon as I get these bullets out and heal."

Jake couldn't help but laugh.~

The memory of that day still left me chuckling and flinching. It was later that same evening as I sat thinking about things that I remembered mouthing off to the Great Spirits the night before.

I promptly looked up at the sky and told them 'Yep. I promise that I won't be doing that again." But with the shit that just keeps on happening with the pack, that promise was as close to a lie as I'd ever told to the "great spirits." My only excuse is a faulty memory when the world around here goes crazy.


End file.
